Note: Some details have been intentionally obscured. Low THC, CBD rich oil is legal for limited use in 14 states, including New York, so there are no legal concerns with me writing this article. However, the social impact is often too great and thus it has been requested of me that I not mention details of others.
I am a product of a generation of people where marijuana was easily accessible. If I didn’t have a friend who smoked it, I certainly knew plenty of parents who did and openly shared. My siblings grew up in the 60’s where smoking cigarettes was commonplace. Adults around them smoked on airplanes, in restaurants, and even at schools. Parent’s lit up at home watching television with the family. It was so common that no one thought anything of it.
Being a late life child of my parents, I grew up in the 80s. Smoking cigarettes was less common and the “war on drugs” was setting into popular media. I remember the episode where Punky Brewster turns down drugs with the Regan era slogan “Just say no.” But none of this stopped pot from being present in my everyday life, even as a child of parent’s who smoked cigarettes, not joints.
Most of my friends had baby boomer parents. People who grew up in the organic drug culture of the late 60’s and 70’s. They felt enlightened by their recreational use. Freed of the previous generations rules and limitations that made life so dull. If I wanted to try something, anything, I didn’t have to go to the streets or sell my body to prostitution. I just had to knock on a schoolmate’s door.
The first time I saw parents light a joint in front of me was a bit shocking. I had been taught by the D.A.R.E. campaign that drugs were bad, and illegal, and that my very knowledge of them could get me put in jail. I am certainly the type of Autistic who follows rules so the act of lawbreaking before my eyes frightened me. Telling about it? That was even worse. So I watched and kept it very quiet.
I learned all about the lingo – pizza, skunk, quarter. I learned the smell – who can’t tell that smell? As I got older, I realized this was around to stay and that it was just a normal part of life. Illegal, perhaps, but so were many other things that people did in bedrooms across the country. So, I accepted it and stopped worrying so much.
Cannabis Oil
A few people I know started raving about Cannabis Oil. Most of them have kids on the Autism Spectrum or with seizures. After years of therapy, pharmaceutical drugs, and other various interventions they were at their wits end trying to manage their child’s condition. These are kids who struggle to even leave the house because their sensory systems and often would hurt themselves trying to get under control. After everything else failed it was Cannabis Oil that calmed them. These weren’t minor differences but huge, life-altering changes that this oil made.
As someone who shares the Autism Spectrum with these kids I certainly have my fair share of sensory issues. Stimulus from the noisy, bright world in which we live often obscures my intellect as I struggle to navigate spaces and access language. Often times I will experience a type of sudden memory loss when I go to a noisy place like Home Depot or Target. The stimulus takes so much of my energy to filter and control I forget where I am and why I am there. I am certain to an outside observer my body language could cause confusion. It is the part of Autism I do not like living with.
The changes Cannabis Oil made to other Autistic’s was recorded by outside observation, but no one had written of using the oil from a first person perspective. The changes are positive to the outsider and I am not at all against people choosing this remedy for their kids. The fact remained no Autistic had written how they felt on the oil. Now was my opportunity to experience what this does and share it with others.
Taking CBD Oil
I did my research and got a hold of 25 mg capsules of Cannibus Oil. I took them twice daily for a month as instructed. It only took about 48 hours for me to feel different. I noticed I wasn’t jumping when the radiator heat in my apartment clicked on. I was able to go to public spaces with less nerve pain than before. Within a week, that sense of panic about sudden sounds went away. I no longer needed a specific breakfast routine to start my day and even explored different breakfast foods. It was obvious to me that this oil did in fact reduce my sensory system alertness to manageable levels. So far, I felt pretty good.
As I ended the second week, I started to feel a bit depressed. Usually my mind worked very quickly, running several interior conversations at once. My brain worked so fast that I experienced something I called Word Muddle – a system of searching through words between cohesive thoughts. Word Muddle was gone but with it went the sharpness of my intellect to which I had grown accustomed. I reacted like an NT neurologically but my brain was getting mushy.
The mushy brain got worse in week 3 and 4. I got stuck in thought cycles, making it impossible for me to sleep. At its peak I was staying at a friends house who observed I never fell into deep sleep the first night I was there. The tics were fewer, but I was losing my ability to function. Projects were undone, even ones I enjoyed doing. I found myself needing lists and more routine to get through a day without forgetting something. It annoyed me so much that I stopped taking the capsules after 28 days. The very next night I slept deeply.
The worst part of the entire experience was that I could no longer hear shadow songs. The music I hear in people all around me vanished. This is what I believe led to the depression. I spend a majority of my time alone and have for most of my life. Music was always my comforter, my voice, and my best friend. Not hearing music around me everyday in everything was like experiencing the loss of loved one. I wanted it there and it wasn’t.
I tried to record Christmas songs and they came out flat, at least for me. I may not be a Carnegie Hall level virtuoso but I am known for my passion when I play. That passion was gone and left behind a dagger sharp silence. If this was what being normal felt like, I wanted no part of it anymore.
Weed in the Garden of Eden
Okay, weed in the garden of Eden is a bit dramatic, but there is an element of truth here. Being Autistic has it’s daily neurological challenges that can sometimes leave me in tears. The stimulation is painful and difficult to manage. There are days I wish I could calm the sensory storm, but the storm is too powerful to stop. I have experienced days where my nerves are mildly raw to days I am being assaulted by zaps of nervous system lightning bolts that buzz my hearing and blur my vision. Yet through it all I could hear the music, and the music set me free.
What I learned is that I would rather weather the storms of Autism than live a nanosecond of life without my inner music.
For my friends that have seen a positive result I am happy that CBD Oil worked for you. Depending on how Autism walks with you perhaps CBD Oil is a perfect choice. For me, however, I have learned how to harness my neurological energy into a powerhouse that generates the essential me. For now I will just keep on singing even when Autism stings.
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